Cancel Culture: what is it and what's its impact?

The term Cancel Culture can be hard to define and even more challenging to put into context when it comes to the real world.  The Shalon community came together with 3 expert conversation guides on March 18th to discuss what it means, how it impacts people and relationships and what accountability and forgiveness look like.

To address the topic as holistically as possible, we posed three questions throughout the event. In addition to takeaways from the conversation, we were also left with more questions to contemplate. Below, find our original questions, shared takeaways, and the questions that came up during discussion – all of which will be valuable in continuing an exploration of Cancel Culture, responsibility and reconciliation.

Question 1: What are the pluses and minuses of "cancel culture"? Can it be considered an "act of love" to call someone in (as opposed to calling out) to help them recognize their mistakes and evolve? 

Follow up thoughts:

Cancel Culture could also be called accountability culture; people being held accountable for things they “got away with” for many years, which can be very uncomfortable. As a result there is a (sometimes political) faction that calls it cancel culture because they want to escape accountability.

·       The people being called out/canceled are the people that have the most to lose because of their privilege.

·       There is so much pent-up anger from groups that have been repressed that anger is rightful but maybe not as constructive as it could be.

Doesn’t allow for forgiveness and a way forward for people who are interested in changing.

For young people it can be especially harming and damaging because they do not have options for other communities to join (especially when cancelation happens in school, sports, religious groups, etc.)

Questions to Ponder:

·       Is there restorative justice? Does that need to be created? Who is responsible for creating it?

·       What is the recourse for someone who is unrepentant? Do they continue to benefit from bad behavior?

·       How can someone who feels injured by another party get the response that they need without canceling the responsible party?

Question 2: Can you think of a time when you were harmed or there was a rupture in your life? What did repair look like or what did you want it to look like? 

Follow up thoughts:

One of the great repairers is “I’m sorry” – but it must be sincere.

Personal repair or forgiveness may not be synchronous (or linear) 

·       Someone may be able to make amends, but they can’t necessarily be part of the injured party’s life/community in the way they were before. Perhaps it teaches them to make changes which can give the injured party and their community pride.

Questions to ponder:  

Can you find a way for them to “make reparations” to make you feel better for the pain/harm that was inflicted?

Question 3: What is forgiveness? What steps do people, organizations, communities take to come back from being "canceled?" 

Follow up thoughts:

For someone to really forgive – you must take time away. Time away means really learning and working – not just removing yourself from a hard situation.

To ask for forgiveness - you need to understand where the person is and meet them there to tell them what they need to hear (or if you want forgiveness, understand what they need to hear)

Questions to ponder:

When you cannot forgive, can you make choices about how you view the past and the future (with the person or a situation) – does forgiveness mean you are giving up your own values/needs/etc?

Can you forgive partially? Can you “Cancel” part of a relationship?

What happens when someone carries a grudge?

Does forgiveness detach you from the past? Is holding on to anger/sadness/etc. an attachment (healthy or not) to the past (that you cannot change)

Does forgiveness need a dialogue, or can you forgive without the person who harmed you?

Court of public opinion vs criminal legal system?

Expert Insight

Thank you to our speakers for sharing the experiences and wisdom and helping drive truly meaningful discussion thought the evening. If you’d like to follow up with any or all of our experts, they’ve generously shared their contact information:

·       Alison Turkos, sexual assault survivor and advocate fighting for systemic change website: https://www.alisonturkos.com / turkos@alisonturkos.com

·       Dr. Fred Luskin, Director, Stanford Forgiveness Projects fredl@stanford.edu

·       Patrick Harrington, Executive Director of Honor Yoga Foundation, and former CEO of Kindness Yoga  Beingpatrick@gmail.com

Next Steps

This conversation was just the beginning of exploring this topic in further detail. I encourage you to share these thoughts with your family and friends and continue to think about cancel culture and society.  I hope to see you at our next Shalon.